I'm Not An Angel
by LoneeWolf
Summary: He had done it again. He could see it in her brown eyes. The pain and hurt that he hated the most. And to increase the pain, she didn't yell at him. She didn't threat to go home and never come back. Oh, but how he wished she yelled. It would certainly be better than to stare back at her like she was the only thing worth living for.


~.~.~.~.~.~

_You made a mistake_  
_On the day that you met me_  
_And lost your way._

He had done it again. He could see it in her brown eyes. The pain and hurt that he hated the most. The feeling of lost and desperation, but yet love. He couldn't take it anymore.

_You saw all the signs,_  
_But you let it go..._  
_You closed your eyes._

And to increase the pain, she didn't yell at him. She didn't 'sit' him. She didn't hit him or insulted him, claiming that she hated him. She just stared at him and held back the tears forming in her eyes. He could smell them.

_I should've told you to leave_  
_'Cause I knew all the time_  
_You couldn't handle me_

She didn't threat to go home and never come back. She didn't tell him to turn around and walk the same path he came from. She didn't called him a stupid hanyou or dumbass, she just called his name. She didn't compared herself to _her_ or lowered herself to nothing. She just stood there, in front of him, looking into his golden orbs with a turmoil of feelings.

_But you're hard to resist_  
_When you're on your knees_  
_Begging me!_

Oh, but how he wished she yelled. How he wished she slapped him to the horizon or 'sit' him twenty feet underground. How he wished she would tell him to go away, to leave her alone, to disappear from her life. It would certainly be better than to stare back at her like she was the only thing worth living for.

_I'll tear you down,_  
_I'll make you bleed eternally_

She stared at him and opened her mouth. "I'm going back," she said. He could only nod. He didn't have the power nor the reason to reply and start another fire between them. He let her go, watching her disappear in a blue glow.

_Can't help myself_  
_From hurting you_  
_When it's hurting me_

He sighed and lowered his head, knowing she was hurt. Maybe even more. Maybe she couldn't face him anymore. Maybe this was their end. Maybe there wasn't a happy ending for them. Maybe they were meant to be like this, fighting and making up, all in a vicious cycle. It had to end at some point. Who's fault was it, it could only be chosen. Maybe he pushed it too far and broke her forever. Or maybe she was the one who walked away, tired of the constant arguments between them and not wanting to be near him anymore.

_I don't have wings,_  
_To fly with me won't be easy_

He let his body fall on the ground, his back hitting a tree. Their tree. The tree that connected them, the tree he was once against and she saved him. **She** saved him. She freed him from the spell and embraced him in a life of light, with friends and allies, companions and mates.

She gave him so much of herself. And what did he gave her? Pain and hurt. He couldn't count the number of times he broke her spirit. And even more, the number of times he broke her heart. He hated himself for so, but couldn't stop.

_'Cause I'm not an angel,_  
_I'm not an angel_

Because he'd always go back to _her_. And he'd always break her heart. And she'd always leave. And he'd always go back and get her. He'd always promise to never hurt her again. But he'd always go back to _her_.

It pained him that it was always the same thing. It was always _her_. Kikyou. He had gone to her. She told him she loved him and asked him to go to hell with her, to be forever with her. And he'd refuse, only to say he needed to avenge her death and complete the jewel. She insisted, telling him she could wait. He agreed, like always, and she kissed him. He kissed back. After all, he did loved her. In the past. He loved her, because she was the first to acknowledge him, the first human contact that he had. But even she kept her distance.

But not Kagome. No. She embraced him with warmth, caring and love. He felt so many warm and positive feelings when around her. He admired the way she always put the others before her, choosing to take care of them first, even if she didn't have strength to stand. She was special.

_Hate being that wall_  
_That you hit when you feel like_  
_You gave it all_

And he knew he loved her. For everything she was. For her heart. For her soul. For her smile, always there to cheer up the others, when she was broken inside. For her eyes, the ones he could stare forever. Her lips, always so full of nice words, encouragement and love. Her looks as well. Because besides being the kindest soul, she was also a goddess to the eye. And he felt the need to protect her. Because a goddess like her is fragile.

He knew he had pushed too far this time. It started with a simple question. "Where have you been?" she asked. And he got mad at her. He told her it was none of her business. She didn't argued with him, like he was expecting her to. She just shrugged and turned to what she was doing, whispering "Fine... Someone had a bad day." And he snapped. He asked her what the hell she was supposed to mean. She sighed. She stood up and told him she didn't feel like arguing. He grabbed her arm. She told him to let her go. He refused. And that's when it all started.

She shouted at him. Demanding to let her go. He refused. He wanted to know what she was supposed to mean. Maybe she saw him and Kikyo together? Oh, no... Anything but that. She told him to stop being an ass face and let her go. He refused. And she told him to leave her. He yelled at her. He told her to quit being a stubborn bitch and tell him already. She stayed quiet. But Inuyasha was angry. And when he's angry, he says things that he doesn't mean.

He told her he was glad he was going with Kikyo to hell so he wouldn't have to take her shit.

_I keep taking the blame_  
_When we both know_  
_That I'll never change_

Oh god, how he regret it. The words he said hit her like a thunder. Left her disoriented, confuse, hurt. The anger that burned in her eyes froze. Put down with a bucket of salty water. Vanished with a cloud of smoke, leaving only shock, hurt and tears.

_I'll tear you down,  
I'll make you bleed eternally  
Can't help myself  
From hurting you  
When it's hurting me_

He immediately regret it. He let out her name, but the rest of the apology got stuck in his throat. And with that, he realized that he had done it again.

_I don't have wings,  
To fly with me won't be easy  
'Cause I'm not an angel,  
I'm not an angel._

~.~.~.~.~.~

Days passed. He missed her. He didn't know what to do. He refused to let Sango take care of his wounds. Fuck them, they'll heal. He refused when Miroku showed up in front of him with ramen. He ignored when Shippo scolded him when he found out what happened. He let the little kitsune hit him, cry and yell at him and Inuyasha didn't say a word against it because it was all true. All the insults. All the glares. Everything. They didn't move. He refused to leave without her. But he didn't understand why Sango, who was so close to Kagome, didn't scold him like the rest. Sure, she glared at him, but there was something else in her eyes. Sorrow? No. Pity.

_I wasn't always this way,_  
_I used to be the one with the halo_

It could be… When Miroku suggested they could leave, Inuyasha almost snapped, yelling that they were NOT leaving without her. And then he left. He left because tears came to his eyes. She was his weakness. Maybe that was the reason why Sango acted like this. Because she saw him crying.

God, this hurts. He wanted to scream in agony, die in misery. He was nothing without her. He had found out a long time ago what she meant to him. She was his life, no, his everything. He loved her and he was sure she loved him. Otherwise, why would she even bother to come back? He wished it was for him, like he'd always go back to get her.

_That disappeared when I had my first taste_  
_And fell from grace, it left me in this place_

But no. Not this time. He knew he fucked up. They had to stop. The fights, the glares, the goodbyes. Inuyasha believed that his heart couldn't take anymore goodbyes and he was sure hers couldn't take more pain. Her scars were already too many. Didn't he swear to protect her? So why was she full of scars? Because he couldn't protect her from the biggest danger. Himself.

A soft whimper caught his ears and he stood up quickly. He sniffed the air. It smelled like fresh grass, soft flower scent, vanilla and… Wait. Vanilla? It can't be… Kagome.

_Now I'm starting to think,_  
_Maybe you like it._

Inuyasha ran. He ran as fast as he could. To the Bone Eater's well. Trees stayed behind him in a fast pace and he ran faster, the scent getting stronger with each step. When he finally reached the well, his heart fell to his feet. She was there.

_I'll tear you down,_  
_I'll make you bleed eternally_

She was sitting on the edge of the wooden well. Her hair flew around, the wind playing with it. Her eyes glowed with the sun and a soft smile graced her lips. Inuyasha walked slowly to her, afraid that, if he walked too fast, she'd disappear like a scared animal. Or worst. Vanish like she was an illusion.

_Can't help myself_  
_From hurting you_  
_When it's hurting me_

"What are you doing here?" he asked. She turned to him and sighed, before standing up and walking to him. Once she was close enough, she looked up at him and told him:

"I told you, Inuyasha. I'm not leaving your side."

_I don't have wings,_  
_To fly with me won't be easy_  
_'Cause I'm not an angel,_  
_I'm not an angel_

His words got caught in his throat once again. She's not… She's not leaving his side? She's not walking away, she's not telling him to go away, she's not disappearing. She's not an illusion. He can feel her hand wrapped around his own. He can see her smile, the look of hope and love in her eyes.

_I'm not an angel!_

And he's glad she's not vanishing. She's here. With him. For him. Because of him. No matter what comes, she'll never leave his side. But she'll always break. He'll always break her heart. And he was tired of it.

_I'm not an angel!_

"I know you need to avenge her, Inuyasha." She confirmed.

"But you know I'll always hurt you while doing that." He told her, lowering his head. He heard her sigh. He felt a hand holding his face and pulling it up to meet her eyes.

"I can take it. I'm strong. You made me strong. But I want you to live. I know that the bond you have with her won't break," she told him, smiling. "and I won't force it, but that doesn't mean that you have to die for it. I know and I understand that you two will never be truly together in this life, but please, Inuyasha… Stay for a while longer… For me."

"Kagome…" he finally found his voice. Could she be more perfect? It's true. He loved Kikyo. In the past. But he also loved Kagome. A lot. Maybe more. She loved him for what he was. She didn't waited for him to become human. She loved **every single part** of him. And he loved every single part of her.

His hand rested above hers, looking at her. His eyes told her love, fear, happiness. His eyes told her she was his everything. Touching her forehead with his own, he brushed his lips over hers in a soft caress, before smiling softly and whispering, in a way only she could listen:

"I'll stay with you as long as you want me to."

_I'm not an angel…_

* * *

**A/N: Finished. The song is 'I'm not an Angel' from Halestorm. Review. Or don't. I'm not there to watch if you do. Feel free to fav or follow. This is a ONESHOT, there will be no sequel nor second chapter. Thank you for reading. I just wanted to get this out of my chest.**

**MagicaaLove :)**


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